We've all read posts like these, and although none of them can actually prepare us for motherhood any better, sometimes it's just reassuring to know that we aren't in this alone.
I actually thought about writing this post after I came across this photo in my old phone from shortly after Eloise was born. It was four something in the morning, my eyes were swollen from crying, my chest is covered in hives (for some reason I got them whenever I nursed her) & she is wide eyed because she never, ever slept. What everyone always tells you about having kids is that you're going to miss even the hardest times. And I remember taking this and thinking, I'm taking this photo to look back on one day, to see if I do in fact miss this. Because not only was I certain I would never miss it, but I was also not even sure if I would survive it. But here I am, alive & well, and totally missing the shit out of that very moment with that little teeny tiny baby. The nights are so long, and lonely, and they seem like they'll never end. But they do, and you'll always want them back.
I actually thought about writing this post after I came across this photo in my old phone from shortly after Eloise was born. It was four something in the morning, my eyes were swollen from crying, my chest is covered in hives (for some reason I got them whenever I nursed her) & she is wide eyed because she never, ever slept. What everyone always tells you about having kids is that you're going to miss even the hardest times. And I remember taking this and thinking, I'm taking this photo to look back on one day, to see if I do in fact miss this. Because not only was I certain I would never miss it, but I was also not even sure if I would survive it. But here I am, alive & well, and totally missing the shit out of that very moment with that little teeny tiny baby. The nights are so long, and lonely, and they seem like they'll never end. But they do, and you'll always want them back.
1. The love is so overwhelming, that it's actually terrifying. I read an article once about how motherhood is compared to walking along side a cliff, the most beautiful, wonderful, breathtaking cliff in the world, that at any moment, you could step off of & fall to your death. Sounds great right? You literally love these little people so hard, it makes your heart hurt. Nobody can prepare you for that, and at the end of the day, it's what makes everything else worth it.
2. Sleep is a thing of the past. And not just because of your baby. If your newborn isn't waking you up all night because they're hungry, your six month old is waking you up because their paci fell out, or your 18 month old is waking you up because their sock fell off or your three year old is waking you up because they saw a big truck in their room. Or maybe, all of your kids actually slept all night, but you're awake looking at pictures of them wondering how they're growing so fast. Or you can't stop thinking about that sad article you read or maybe you can't sleep because all you had for dinner was wine. Either way, sleep? Gone forever.
3. You can strangely function on no sleep. Refer to point number two. Somehow, after sixteen days straight of only 1.5 hours of sleep per night, four cups of coffee & a banana, you can handle more shit than you ever could pre-baby. You might look like roadkill, but in reality, life is good & you are handling it like a boss.
4. You become a complete hypochondriac. You will worry like you've never worried before, you imagine the worst in every situation. every. single. time. Every cold must be pneumonia, that rash? must be a peanut allergy. And don't even get me started on how many times you'll think you or your kid has Cancer. It is scary and stressful and you will waste so many hours googling symptoms and texting your mom friends and dragging your kids to urgent care on a Saturday. You will also never forget a single sad story you ever hear & your heart will break for parents that you don't even know.
5. You will cry, a lot. Nobody really talks about the baby blues that can occur for the first few weeks after your baby is born, which results in floods of pretty much every emotion imaginable & lots and lots of tears. Crying because your baby is growing too fast, crying because you aren't actually sure if you are capable of taking care of a tiny human being, or maybe just crying because you can't stop crying. All aboard the crazy train! Just be sure to seek help from your doctor if it lasts more than a few weeks, postpartum depression is a very real, and scary thing, and in order to take care of your babies, you must first take care of yourself.
6. Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, your hair falls out. Postpartum hair loss has gotten the best of me, first it falls out, leaving you bald patches all along your hairline & your bathroom looking like chewbacca showered in there. Then it grows back, slowly but surely, leaving one inch baby hairs sticking out all over your head. So in the words of Cousin Eddie, no matter what you do, "your hair just ain't gonna look right" ;)
7. Your kids will be exactly like you in all the worst ways. All of your flaws will be magnified & thrown in your face by your sweet little angels. And your mom will probably smile thinking of all the times she told you that she hopes one day, you have a child just like you.
8. You might casually want to have a million more babies. Especially once you have three kids, which based on my experience & what I have been told by lots of moms with more than three, you kinda feel like you've hit the maximum chaos capacity. And then you start to have crazy thoughts about maybe having just one or two more.
#babyhoarding
8. You might casually want to have a million more babies. Especially once you have three kids, which based on my experience & what I have been told by lots of moms with more than three, you kinda feel like you've hit the maximum chaos capacity. And then you start to have crazy thoughts about maybe having just one or two more.
#babyhoarding
Because, refer to point number one, that love is everything.
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